Code of Conduct Overview
New Day for Me (“NDFM”) is a private online community of individuals (the “Group”) supporting one another as we work toward changing our relationships with alcohol. New Day for Me is for everyone who would like to cut down, moderate or abstain. Stated plainly and simply, all are welcome. We want NDFM to be a safe and supportive place for all members. To ensure this is the case, all members are required to follow these Group Rules (“Rules”), both online and in any meet-ups or other events organized by NDFM or any of its members, as applicable. These Rules should be read by every member, but you are still bound by them even if you do not read them.
NDFM Group Rules
- NDFM is not medical advice. NDFM is not meant to be and does not replace medical advice, and is never a substitute for qualified, professional medical care. The advice given by fellow members is also never a substitute for qualified professional medical care.
- NDFM has a zero tolerance policy.
Diversity of membership helps create a dynamic forum, enabling the sharing of a wide range of perspectives from which all members have the opportunity to benefit. Diversity also creates the need for a genuine willingness amongst members to support one another regardless of personal characteristics, beliefs, or differing perspectives so all members feel comfortable participating in the community.
Accordingly, NDFM has a zero tolerance policy on harassment, bullying, hate speech, malicious stereotyping, and any other such conduct targeting another member’s personal characteristics and/or beliefs. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, this includes sexism, racism and derogatory language or actions aimed against an individual’s age, gender, sexual orientation, religion, ethnic background, nationality, or disability. To be clear, this also includes malicious criticism of any member’s beliefs, opinions, or choices regarding alcohol.
- We reserve the right to remove members from the Group.
We hope not to do this very often, but if you break these Rules, we will let you know and ask that you change your approach. If you continue to break these Rules, we will remove you from the Group.
- NDFM has volunteer Group Administrators.
The Group Administrators (“Admins”) listed at the end of this section are available to answer questions and to monitor Group activity to help ensure these Rules are being respected. Accordingly, if you have any questions about the Rules, or any questions or concerns about site activity or the Rules, please directly message (“DM”) one of the Admins.
In particular, please DM an Admin if you find a post that is inappropriate, causing you upset, or getting out of hand. (You may also reporting the post by pressing the triple bullet points in the upper right corner of the post, and selecting ‘More’ then ‘Report’.)
Admins have permission to delete, at their sole discretion, any post or comment they determine is (i) in violation of these Rules, (ii) is getting out of control, or (iii) that they are otherwise uncomfortable with.
- Volunteer Admins (by location in consideration of time zone differences):
USA, Eastern time zone: Tom G., Runner7 (Heather),
Australia, Eastern time zone: Caz Nineteen, Mariasgirl Warrior
- You have the right to remain anonymous. You have the right to remain anonymous and to decide for yourself what you reveal. At the same time, all members share a responsibility to guard the anonymity of fellow members. This means that you should not seek to reveal to anyone else that individuals in the Group are members unless they explicitly tell you it’s ok to do so. If you have met them or know who they are in the real world, please remember that they may not have, for example, told their friends that they are changing their drinking. Respect their right to make those decisions. Don’t give away details of one-to-one conversations you have had with other members online or at events, unless they give you express permission to do so.
- You may report worrying posts or comments.
If you are worried about a post or fellow member, and if it is someone you know, you can try to contact them through direct messaging. You can also report the post, which will alert the Admins, by pressing the triple bullet points in the upper right corner of the post, and selecting “More” then “Report”. If you are worried that someone has ‘gone missing’ and you just want us know, you can DM an Admin.
- Lastly, and more generally, adult conduct is expected.
Below are some situations that commonly arise and suggestions on how to deal with them.
Be kind, tolerant and supportive. The more everyone contributes, the more information and insights there will be for others to draw upon. You are encouraged to listen, share, learn, ask for and offer support. And, importantly, to make decisions for yourself. It is important to remember, however, that everyone has their own experiences, and we each have to make up our own minds about what is best for us. Refrain from expressing anger with others whose experiences and/or beliefs do not match yours, and do not assume your experience and/or beliefs apply to them.
Edit or delete. If you are unhappy about something you posted, you can edit or delete posts, and we encourage you to do so if you have posted or said something you later regret.
Look at the big picture. Sometimes people can misconstrue even the most subtle wording, which can lead to posts escalating quickly as other members try to be helpful and clarify or follow the interpretation. Try to give the poster the benefit of the doubt and look at the intention of their post rather than picking on nuances. If you are unsure about their meaning, then help the whole Group (and the poster) by asking them to clarify.
Address issues with other members privately and diplomatically. If someone has been rude or offended you, and you choose to address the issue, DO NOT start a confrontation in the Group forum. Instead, message them privately via DM and let them know diplomatically that their post or comment has been taken in a negative way. If the behavior continues, please DM an Admin, and we will do what we can to help.
Apologize. Conversely, if you have offended someone else, please consider an apology. Online communication can easily be misinterpreted, so even if you did not mean to be rude, just say you’re sorry.
Block members, if needed. You do not have to tolerate unwanted, harassing, upsetting, or repetitive comments or approaches from other members. If you feel you need to, you may block members from contacting you by pressing the triple bullet points in the upper right corner of the post, and selecting “More” then “Block [user name]”. You may also DM an Admins if you need assistance dealing with another member. Your message will be treated with full confidence, and we will take you seriously and do what we can to help.